I HAVE ordered the Bruess cancer book from Amazon that iguagaby suggested. It hasn't arrived yet.

I've been shopping for individual health insurance, bought a plan the other night, will cost $169.00 a month. It's supposed to cover me at Ireland Cancer Center, div. of Case Western Reserve Univ., which is about 15 min from me. It's supposed to also cover me at the other place I was looking at, "Cancer Treatment Centers of America". Their closest facility to me is in Philadelphia. They already told me they would fly me out there, meet me at the airport, for a 3-5 day evaluation.

Right now I have to get authorization forms from my doctor to transfer my records to these places. I'm seeing the doc on Jul. 13th. Hoping Fri the 13th won't create any problems, and I'm not really superstitious.

Thanks all for the best wishes. I must admit I'm pretty nervous about the whole situation. The last procedure I had done was the CAT scan June 18th, who knows what's been going on inside since then.

Stay positive!

For a good source of life-affirming messages, check out http://www.hayhouse.com/
Register (free) to listen to hayhouse radio.

Best wishes and blessings.
Charles

You know, I think it all boils down to the FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. Anything that is new to us and exceptionally hard to do is inherently scary. And coming face to face with our own mortality is something that some of us will never do.

Are you familiar with the 5 Stages of Grieving? They are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, Acceptance.. or.. DABDA. They apply to all grieving and you can be at one or more stages at once and go back and forth between them.

It has been pointed out that we all must die of something. We start dying the moment we are born, if you think about it. It is just a matter of time with any of us. We would all like to be able to choose how and when we die, but it doesn't work that way.

I am continuing to wish the very best for you, Oyle. Whatever or however long that may be.

Thanks, mrsugg.

No, I hadn't heard of the 5 stages of grieving. Interesting. Is there a website someplace for that?

Y'know, I've gotten in the habit of reading the obituaries in the newspaper, on a pretty regular basis. There are people that pass away that are HALF my age. Usually, it doesn't go into detail about what they passed away from, but there are people of all ages in the obitituaries. 29 years old, even younger! I guess it makes me feel a little better, but I have a lot I want to do yet. I still want to find a full-time paying job somewhere in Cleveland's IT market, even though I've been looking for the past 6 yrs, with no results.

I'd like to build up some of my financial nest eggs, I've had to rape them to pay bills, and then have to pay penalty taxes on that.

My sister was real hestitant to suggest the other day thar maybe we should go to the local funeral home and shop for a coffin for me. I think maybe I should go shopping for a cemetary plot, first. Never gave it much thought before, but why not next to my parents? Mom will be next to Dad, of course, but for me to go next to them, there's a pine tree in the way.

Fear of the Unknown? You betcha, I sure am scared. I gave up on religion years ago, preferring believing in the Big Bang. I was talking to a Baptist minister the other day in parking lot of a grocery store while Mom was inside shopping. He gave me a lot of advice, including the definition of faith. I just can't believe unless I see some PROOOF! Having blind faith in something, without actually seeing some kind of benficial results, just doesn't make sense to me. Constant belief without some kind of gratification, is just stringing me along.

Sorry to seem so down, but this is how I feel. "God helps them who help themselves". OK, God, I've helped myself. Gone to school to certify in computers while working full-time in a factory job I absolutely HATED. Been through the wringer, literally, looking for a job. Your turn, God! Some help, here, please? All these people here are praying for me. You're listening, right? RIGHT?

I believe HE is Oyle and I also believe that all prayers are answered, but many times the answer that comes back is most certainly NOT what we had hoped and prayed for. The GOD of my understanding (as I believe) has a peculiar sense of humor and usually doesn't see things my way.

The 5 Stages are from a book called On Death and Dying, by Kubler-Ross. The first link talks about the death of a pet, but the information is valid for all grieving.
http://web.vet.cornell.edu/public/petloss/ekr.htm
http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm

Getting ones' final arrangements in order is something that we all should do (I haven't either). Unfortunately, it is too often left for the bereaved family to deal with. When my grandmother went shopping for her own casket (and made all the plans for her own funeral) when she wasn't even sick, we all thought that she was "sick". When she died (after a long illness) 10 years later, my mother did not have to worry about anything. It is a good thing to do.

I think that if you have the energy, that you should reply to that e-mail and have a go at it.

Remember the stuff you prayed really hard for when you were a kid? Maybe not. It probably isn't important to you now.

Our life on earth is a tiny blip in time. If you are talking about being freed from a material existence in which you can experience only three dimensions, you are talking about terms like "separation" and "waiting" and "beginning" and "end" as being meaningless. You won't die and be disappointed that God let you die; you'll be wondering why you thought 10 or 20 or 50 years' delay would be such a big deal.

Worry less about getting what you want than about getting the courage to see the joy in what will happen -- as it happens.

What will happen? No way to know, no matter how much "faith" you have. Some people seem to define "faith" as refusing to question anything people in authority have told you is true. But some of the most religious people in history -- from many different faiths -- have had little use for the finer details of dogma and have instead tried to stop clinging to the day to day details of life in order to have some direct experience of something bigger. Some call it God and mean a conscious being, others do not but still find it a very valuable use of their time. They all feel something real is going on, no matter what they call it.

I think planning the funeral arrangements is fine. I don't know what your ethnic heritage is, but we Irish can have a good chuckle over some of the silly elaborate caskets, and that takes some of the fear out of death. The ancient Celts were known for having no fear of dying, and in fact were so certain of the afterlife that they would lend money with promissory notes due to be paid during the afterlife. That attitude carries over to the festive atmosphere at Irish funerals, at least in my family. Attending my father's funeral certainly took a lot of the fear away from my children.

Oyle
I have some information I would like to pass on to you from a book I am reading. It's a kind of book one can read in the conventional manner and also one to just open up and read.

It is called "Emmanuel's Book"; Introduction by Ram Dass; compiled by Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton.

The name Emmanuel comes up more frequently the more I read of spiritual matters.

Namaste

_________________

Hi Oyle

I just Googled the 5 Stages of Grieving that another person brought
up & came up with this first one:

http://www.essortment.com/

There are many others that are probably worth reading as well.

Take Care Oyle, You're still in my prayers every day

_________________
Warm Regards,
David (esacnitsuj)
EULAGree With Security

Hi Oyle, I'm sorry to hear about this and there has been a lot of great responses. Here is something in case you may need it:

http://www.corpangelnetwork.org

That's great Paul.

Hard to believe it has been around for 25 years. I guess you discover it when you need it and have the right contacts.

Oyle, two days before I discovered this thread, I posted something in the Religion forum, which you may want to look at.
/p963077-Top_7_Manifesting_Mistakes.html#963077

DISCLAIMER: A lot of Christian press has denounced the book "The Secret" as blasphemous. It merely attempts to educate about the Law of Attraction. Many great teaches throughout time have been aware of this law and have demonstrated its power through their life's legacy.

My post talks about the "Top 7 Manifesting Mistakes", of which #1 is " Focusing on what you DON’T want".
Although the principle is simple, obviously putting this into practice is more difficult than one would imagine.

I am not merely passing obscure information from an obscure book; I have used the Law of Attraction for many years with many unexpected results. This is not to say I have mastered the practice. The reason listed above IS the biggest obstacle.

Focus on being healthy and living. Thank your God for being alive every morning when you arise. There are many here praying for you and offering you support, and it IS possible to tap into that for strength when you need to.

_________________

Just talked to the "new" doctor, last Tuesday. This is a woman Doctor (is it OK to mention names? I seriously doubt she's on this website). This is my "second opinion", Doctor, at University Hospitals, in Cleveland, Oh. This is MUCH closer to home for me; the first hospital I was going to, where I've had everything else done, including the surgery, tests, etc. was on the near West Side of town. While it's not a bad drive (for me; for everyone I know that COULD have helped me out by driving me down there, it's a hassle) it was getting to be a shlep. Only around 20 min drive, really.

The support staff looks to be very good; everyone seems to want to be able to bend over backwards to help me. After talking to the Doctor, I talked to a counselor of the support team, and then later, the Chaplain. The chaplain actually swore, I was surprised!! (She wasn't swearing AT me, but it was the s-word).

So this Doctor told me "it's nothing they can cure. I WILL "pass early" from this. (Her words). She mentioned "maybe a year", but she said it like she doesn't know, and I'm sure she doesn't. "I will die from it", she said. When she said that, I got all goose-bumpy in my face.

But she wants to put me on what she calls "Targetted Therapy". It's chemo, but it's not. It's intravenous, so as far as I'm concerned, it's chemo. The drug is Panitumumab, (PAN-itoom-ue-mab), brand name Vectibix.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panitumumab

This drug will supposedly shrink the blood vessels going into the tumor, and so starve the tumor out. She said it's a fairly new drug, they've tried it already on someone else, and they've had good results from it. She said the main side effect from it is a skin rash. AND maybe diarahhea. (Forgive me, I ALWAYS have problems spelling that word).

SO they called me today wanting to know if my insurance will cover it. I can't get REAL Blue Cross cause I have a "pre-existing condition". So I bought into this package that will cost me $169.00/month; it covers for hospital stays of $300.00/day, and it is the bottom of the line package. I'm talking to the insurance agent that sold it to me, and now he's telling me that "if it's related to a pre-existing condition" (which I don't think has been determined yet) there's a 12-month waiting period. !!! The insurance companies would lose too much money, otherwise. This package that I bought is supposedly the next-best=thing to real insurance.

If it wasn't for the Insurance companies being afraid of losing money, we might be able to do something about this! Why do they even bother offering insurance in the first place?? Is this how it works in Canada?

Say, maybe I could try this as one of their "Clinical studies" programs? I asked the counselor what happens if the insurance doesn't cover it, and she crossed her fingers at me, and seemed to suggest they had other ways.

I went to the cemetary yesterday where my Dad is buried. Mom will be next to him, of course, but there is very little room in that area; there is a serivceman buried on one side ofDad, and there is a pine tree on the other sode. I was talking to the manager of the cemetary about buying a plot, she told me to talk to the funeral home, first, because they control that area. My Dad is there through the Jewish Civil Service Assoc. (Dad was a mailman, so he had a Federal pension, and all that good stuff, and a civil servant, as well. He was even held up and robbed one time while he was on his route!).

The lady at the cemetary told me plots are two prices, $900.00, and $1200.00. It's a small cemetery. She told me I could consider cremation, which is only $590.00 or thereabouts. My sister is dead set against cremation, because it's not what Jews do. Mom probably wouldn't like it either, but I haven't told Mom what this new doctor said yet, and I haven't told her about my shopping for a plot.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to the InfraGard summer meeting tomorrow at NASA Glenn. I had a job interview at NASA Glenn back on June 21, probably not qualified for it. But I'll probably run into Paul there, it'll be cool to see him again.

Did Paul ever say what they named his newest one? I think I missed that.
[/i]

Also, I asked the doctor about the "Cancer Treatment Centers of America", and she told me she knows about them, doesn't think much of them. ALL they do is chemo, all they're after is your (mine) money". Besides that there's the hassle of having to pack up and travel to them, despite that "they would fly me out there free and meet me at the airport". (That's what they told me). This guy in a support group I joined said they are all Holisitc medicine, which, if I understand correctly, is NOT real medicine????

As I understand holistic, it means it treats the person, not the dis-ease.

I'd get on the diet as soon as possible. Make whatever arrangements that need to be made, but don't plant that thought in your head there is nothing more to do.

I want to hear that you met Paul at next year's meeting too!

_________________

Seafsee:

Which diet are you referring to? the one from the book that I bought, "Bruer's Cancer diet?"

That book stresses the importance of something called "Sage Tea". I've never heard of it, but I went into a local GNC store today, guy that worked there didn't have any, didn't remember ever carrying it. He mentioned trying somewhere else, eh, Wilbur's, or something? I took it to be another health food store, but I have no idea where there is one in my area.

Support group I joined is the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the month. Yesterday was an off-day, I will definitely make it to the next one. Support group for my ostomy is the 1st Sunday of the month, that one's coming up next, I think.